On today’s episode of “Whaaaa?!?!”, we introduce GREEN; NOT GREEN!

Let’s begin, shall we?


Not Green.



Not Green.



Not Green.

That last one may come as a surprise to some of you. After all, do a search on “organic bamboo clothing” and you only get a bazillion results from websites touting their “all natural” products. Before you shell out fifty bucks for that so-called eco-friendly pair of bamboo tube socks, learn the truth about bamboo at Veggie Revolution. And I quote:

” . . . rendering bamboo from a plant to a yarn is a chemical process, the same process for conventional rayon. It’s highly polluting, involving hydrogen disulfide emissions. Rayon and bamboo are ‘regenerated cellulose’ fibers and are man-made. Most marketing touts bamboo as a natural fiber. That’s true for bamboo hardwood floors but not for textiles.”

So where can you buy real green/eco-friendly/organic products?

Well, you can buy organic cotton shirts from Green Fly Shop of course, but the owners of our site have recently launched another website, New Terra Living where you can buy all kinds of green stuff, from Dr. Bronner products to yoga skorts.
Leafygreen.info is another good site that gives “Green Product Reviews for a Green World.”
Know of any other green hypocrites? We’d love to hear about them so we can put the worst one up for Maggot of the Month!
P.S. Don’t forget that the deadline to make suggestions to one of the biggest sheisters of them all, TVA, is August 15th. If you haven’t done that yet, get on it!
The Fly


A recent article in The Tennessean claims that 5,000 Nissan plug-in electric vehicles are expected to hit the market in the fall of 2010. The Electric Transportation Engineering Corp. has a deal with Nissan to provide private and public charging stations in Knoxville, Chattanooga and Nashville, Tn, San Diego, Ca., Seattle,Wa., Phoenix and Tucson, Az., and the Oregon cities of Eugene, Corvallis, Salem and Portland.

For those states that don’t rely mostly on coal for power, this might be an eco-friendly move. Unfortunately, coal is the source of 63.3% of Tennessee’s electric energy. (30.2% is nuclear power.)

Tenn. governer Phil Bredesen has high hopes for the electric cars. A quote from the Tennessean article:

“For Tennessee, investing in electric vehicle technology is not only about doing the right thing for the environment . . . It’s also about creating jobs and strengthening our economy.”
Creating jobs? Sure. Strengthening the economy? Maybe. Doing the right thing for the environment? Hmmm. What about rolling out a new line of biodiesel cars?

What are your thoughts on electric vehicles?

The good news is that folks in Nashville who are looking to save money AND help the environment can ride the bus – and maybe even get an autograph from the driver while they’re at it! That’s right. Nashville’s own Jack White (The Raconteurs, White Stripes and Dead Weather) is “making rockstars out of MTA” (metro transit authority.) Jack White’s label, Third Man Records, is releasing a single by the group “Transit”, whose members are all Nashville MTA employees. Third Man started taking orders for the single on August 5th. You can buy the single and plenty of other cool stuff on their website: http://www.thirdmanrecords.com/store.html

Also, you might recall my previous post where I urged you guys to send in ideas to TVA for alternative energy sources in Tennessee. The deadline is August 15th, so if you haven’t done so already, get on that!  http://www.tva.gov/environment/reports/irp/

The Fly

Who says the GreenFly doesn’t enjoy a guffaw or two!  Turn off your TV’s and check out our new YouTube channel! http://www.youtube.com/theflyATgreenflyshop

Hilarious videos including: “How We Can Make the War in Iraq More Eco-Friendly”, “Spiders on Drugs” and “F*ck the Earth Day”.  Share them with your Hummer-driving neighbors! Once they start laughing, you can sucker punch ‘em for NOT recycling! Makes me think of our great shirt “I’m Green I Will Kick Your Ass”! Mmmm, good ole’ quality time.

Inspired to make a video of your own? Send it to us at thefly@greenflyshop.com

We love to laugh as much as the next fly. Send us links to your favorite green videos if you got ’em.

The Fly

P.S. We’ve also got some informative videos on the TVA Coal Ash Environmental Disaster including: “TVA lies about cleanup in Kingston from ash sludge distaste”and “Erin Brokovich on the TVA ash spill”!

More about TENNESSEE VALLEY AUTHORITY’S KINGSTON COAL ASH SPILL- (Hey TVA! How’s the view from your sphincter?)

Tennessee Valley Authority

I would never call the huge TVA  coal ash spill a “blessing in disguise” or any crap like that, but I will say that it’s about time TVA was brought under the microscope. As our fav author Willie Shakes might say: Oh, TVA, why doth you sucketh so much?

A recent AP article by Duncan Mansfield that ran in the Tennessean had some pretty eye-opening observations about TVA’s standard operating procedures . . . or lack thereof. The observations are based on the MCKENNA LONG & ALDRIDGE LLP’s factual report, the conclusions of which TVA’s CEO and President Tom Kilgore called “tough medicine.”

“The TVA did not have any standard procedures regarding operation and maintenance of wet-ash ponds and didn’t put a priority on preventing spills or accidents.  . . . Standard systems and controls for monitoring and evaluating risks that one would expect to see were never installed. TVA also failed to ensure standard training for engineers who inspect such operations.”

Ouch, TVA. I guess that’s why it took you four months to start Phase 1 of cleaning up your disaster?

And now you’re asking the public to send in ideas for alternatives for meeting the future electrical energy needs of the Tennessee Valley? Allow me to play messenger and submit a comment from a dear friend of mine.

Dear TVA,

Here’s an idea. I have lots of power and I’ll let you use it. For free. And you can rent your smoke stacks out as climbing walls. Get back to me when you get your head out of your @$$.

❤ The Sun

source: sciencechicagoblog.wordpress.com

(Feel free to send in your own suggestions. The deadline is August 14, 2009.)

The good news is that with all of the money TVA is saving by not paying for expert advice on alternative energy sources, they might be able to pay for some of those medical costs that residents near the disaster area are racking up.

The Fly

In honor of the 138th Open Championship held this past weekend in Ayshire, Scotland, The Fly enters the Fray About Nuclear Energy – with a Scottish brogue and the perfect sunglasses!

So now in the name of those two hallowed political phrases: “job creation” and “energy independence”, the infamous “they” are trying to make nuclear energy generation all warm and fuzzy like, I dunno, a killer rabbit maybe?

As our favorite Scotsmen might say while staggering back from a celebratory pint or five after kicking some nine-iron ass on the greens at Turnberry, that’s Fookin’ Shite, Brotha’! (trans: f@%$%ing sh*^*t brother!)

Of course, no course of action (or inaction) is risk free – as our dear, green expert Steve Colbert expertly reports here about why the earth is really heating up.

The truth is that just like a free lunch or the Easter Bunny, there is no easy answer. But not all risks are created equal. Here’s a quick history lesson for the uninformed.

First: April 26, 1986 – The Chernobyl nuclear power plant explodes, releasing 100 times more radiation than the atom bombs dropped over Hiroshima and Nagasaki. This means millions of people had to relocate because the surrounding area was no longer livable. The soil and water were deemed toxic and, to this day, nothing can be grown in the surrounding area. Local and worldwide effects of the explosion include long-term health issues (think cancer caused by radiation exposure) as well as agricultural and population issues. Another report done by Greenpeace is entitled “An American Chernobyl?” and talks about how we have already come “uncomfortably close” to a Chernobyl here in America, documenting many near-misses that could have been catastrophes. The point? We are not infallible creatures. And big risks, such as building more nuclear power plants and depending on those plants for “clean energy”, only need one mistake to make a huge and terrible impact on millions of people (and flies too!)

Our second history lesson happened this past Dec 22, 2008 – The giant TVA coal ash spill near Kingston, TN where 5.4 MILLION cubic yards of toxic coal ash spilled when the retaining wall of an ash pond gave way. TVA stands for Tennessee Valley Authority, but we like to think of them as Totally Vain Administrators. TVA uses coal-burning plants to generate energy for much of the southeastern US. At some point, someone thought that a coal-burning plant was a good idea. The New York Times called it an “environmental disaster of epic proportions,” described by many as “the worst man made environmental disaster since Chernobyl.”

A near-by resident interviewed in the article says, “It was nice that they came by to talk to us. They’re making an effort. But what upsets me is they didn’t have a plan in place. Why hadn’t anybody thought, ‘What happens if this thing bursts?”

Back to the idea that all risk is not created equal. Let’s say that the stupid TVA put up solar panels on 10% of the homes in Nashville and a tornado took out 10% of them. The resulting effect is minimal – there’s no radiation spilling into your meat ‘n’ three; and, if the grid is redesigned to mimic the Internet, then the system would still be working the same way the wonderful Internet does – because there would be so much redundancy, the knockout of any single node would not result in a blackout.

But if TVA builds a nuclear power plant and a tornado takes that out, well let’s just say we’ll need to redesign bras and jock straps to accommodate the extra lobes and globes. And that ain’t right!

Btw, it’s not like we don’t have better alternatives – check out Katherine Hamnett’s excellent treatise on concentrated solar power.

The Fly holds Katherine in a particular esteem – we wear her sunglasses all the time . . . even outside

In the spirit of The Fly’s Patron Saint, George Carlin (may he RIP), sex toys should be sick, not make you sick.*

The next time you get ready to snuggle up to your favorite purple porpoise for priapic pleasure, pause before you light your scented candles and take a deep breath. Assuming that your climax-cuddle-bunny is clean, we’re gonna wager that what you’re smelling is something like the brand-new vinyl shower curtain stench. We hate to ruin the mood, but there’s dirty, and then there’s downright dangerous. Most of your popular (and more affordable) sex toys are composed of a reeking combo of PVC, phthalates and paraben. These are the same toxic chemicals that were found in the huge number of children’s toys that Congress banned the sale of earlier this year. Check out the excellent investigative reporting on the risks of phthalates and what alternatives are available.

Full Disclosure: The Fly is still pissed that most of the phthalate research was done on animals.

If it were up to us we’d round up all these sex toy importers and give them a prostate exam with a plunger!

The Fly

*You can prick your finger, but you can’t finger your prick!”–G. Carlin

The Fly Responds with 20% Off All Shirts!

In recent news, a program called RecycleBank has been created to reward members who use their new weight-calculating recycle bins with points that can later be redeemed for more junk.

In related news, I created a program called “Recycle,Bitch!” where members continue recycling in regular green bins just to spite RecycleBank. We will not be coddled with a feeble point system.

Instead, we will act like true Americans and hold out for cold, hard cash; or in this case 20% off all shirts for a limited time.

In more related news, does anyone have $20 I can borrow?

The Fly